CONTESTANT'S GUIDELINES
for
The Bad Elizabethan Costume Contest
Thank you for your interest in entering the Bad Elizabethan Costume Contest. We hope the following guidelines will aid you in your efforts to achieve the goal of every Bad Costumer: Maximum Enthusiasm and Minimum Scholarship.
Underwear
While it is certainly possible to build a Bad Costume over a foundation of proper corset, smock, and bum roll, why handicap yourself? It's so much faster and more effective to leave them off, and make a dress fitted over 20th century undergarments. Extra consideration will be awarded those who wear push up bras, Merry Widows, or girdles. Don't forget to buy the flimsiest bridal hoopskirt you can find, or even better, make a skirt that has a single hula hoop in the hem.
Use the Wrong Fabric
We really can't stress this enough. Even the most exquisitely made costume will be dreadful if it's made of gingham! Other fabrics to make the judges shudder can include poly satin, naughahide, glitter taffeta, and of course, the classic nylon velvet. And remember, never use a natural fiber fabric if there's a synthetic equivalant.
Inappropriate Embellishment
Yards of handmade lace around the hem of your peasant skirt, Celtic interlace done in bugle beads, pearl bridal appliques, cross stitched cabbage roses on the forepart of your gown... this is an area where you can really collect extra points!
Avoid Consistancy
By all means, be sure not to limit yourself to one class or country. Try a peasant bodice,low necked shift, and skirt, worn over a large farthingale, with a tartan arisaid over all. For men, a great look is peasant breeches and shirt with a jeweled black leather jerkin and a scimitar. Let's not forget to wear an Irish leine with fringed knee high moccasins, or a great kilt with an English noble's doublet.
Color Clashes
Color is another area where there's great scope for disaster. Pure white costumes show Faire dust beautifully. Fuschia, day glo, and baby pastels are all good. Even better are completely contempory, "home-dec" color combinations: French Blue and Dusty Rose, Sunflower Gold and Hunter Green. If K-mart sells kitchen accesories that match your costume, you've got it right.
Don't Let It Fit
A fast way to make your costume awful is to make it four sizes too small. A bodice that barely covers the outer 2" of your back, with a lacing cord stretched precariously across the other 12", is a great look. A doublet that rides 4" above the waistband of your nether hose is also good, especially if you tack on a skirting that doesn't quite cover the gap. Conversely, forget the proper line and cut that doublet so that the waistline is down where you wear your jeans. Ladies, don't forget to cut your skirts, especially if you're wearing hoops, at least 6" off the ground.
Use Bad Technique
We want to see lots of machine stitching. Peasant skirts worn tucked up so the wrong side shows should have seams finished with pinking shears. Noble ladies' underskirt's lower edges should be cut on the straight, not with a curve, so the upward arch is maintained. If you do use boning, which we don't usually recommend, at least be sure not to use a sturdy material for the casing so that the bones will pop loose at inoportune moments. (Some of our judges really like the "bodice with a boner" look.) In general, stay away from finished seams, linings, interfacings, and any hand stitching not sloppy enough to catch the judges' attention.
Use the Wrong Closures
While the back-laced men's doublet is a classic of bad costume, it's been done to death. How about something different? Zippers and Velcro are always safe. Ladies, try lacing your noble bodice on all the seams, and don't forget to use grommets--the 1" brass ones, please. An amazing effect can be accomplished by setting in a zipper, and then installing grommets on each side to give the effect of lacing.
Accesorize Badly
The usual example of this category is, of course, the vinyl shoulder strap purse. If this is unavailable, a fanny pack, backpack, or diaper bag is good. Failing that, at least wear a fringed leather pouch with your nobles, or an embossed velvet one with your peasant costume. Hats are to be avoided: however, if you must wear them, make them wildly out of scale (an 18" flat cap is good) and don't be stingy with the feathers and flowers. Any modern shoe is good, however, the judges will award extra points to such masterpieces of wrong thinking as high heels or strappy sandals. Tennis shoes are fine. Men wearing ladies' high heeled boots are warmly received. 1950's rhinestone jewelry is de riguer, but occult-ish cast pewter pieces are also great, especially with a noble costume. Don't forget to smoke!
Glamour Counts
Just because you're in costume is no reason not to look good. Wear your hair down, preferably in a fluffy layered cut, and be sure it's frosted, streaked, or dyed a completely unatural color. Avoid red dye, though, as it actually was popular in period. Nail polish should be bright. Lip gloss, foundation, blush, and mascara should all be worn. Eyeshadow should be electric blue. Men should wear their hair in a military "jarhead" cut, or a very shaggy layered long cut. Dreadlocks are nice, too. For both sexes, tattoos and peircings should be abundant.
Take Care of Your Costume
While this wouldn't seem desirable, it can lead to stunning tours de force of Bad Costume. Holding your skirt up to your knees to keep it clean or tucking a paper napkin into your bodice is an easy way to ruin a look, but the all time winner in this category goes to a group of madrigal singers in elaborate velvet gowns, all of whom had 6" folds of clear vinyl basted around the hems of their gowns.
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In general, be creative, have fun, and what ever you do--DON'T DO RESEARCH!!!!
These notes were compiled by Margo Anderson, who has, regrettably, seen every one of the above examples at the Renaissance Pleasure Faire.
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Margo